Sunday, December 30, 2007

...Tomorrow is only a day away!!

Just a quick update everyone. Blair is slotted to come home tomorrow, Dec. 31st!! Yay!! I am so excited!! This has been VERY long awaited!! Please keep him in your prayers while he travels (I've also been praying for the pilots and the maintenance crews!!!). Thank you all for your support during this time; it's meant the world to me!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Bad News at a Bad Time

December 19th was just a plain ol' fashioned bad day. It started out ok, sis and I went to eat breakfast with our dad for his birthday after work; I got stocking hangers at Hobby Lobby; went home and went to bed for work...same ol', same ol' stuff. Then at 12:21 p.m. Blair called and the first words out of his mouth were "Baby, I have bad news." That's when my stomach dropped. I tried to prepare myself for the worst, and the worst is what came. As you all know by now, he was due home December 21st, tomorrow. What he called to tell me was that his stay has been extended. He will not be home for Christmas...our first together as a married couple. He may even miss our first New Year's together. I am so disappointed, to say the least!! I was to the point of counting down the hours instead of months, weeks, or even days!! Now to start all over it seems. I was, and still am, so ready to hold him in my arms and now I have to wait two more weeks! I feel like I'm breaking. I can't think about it for long or I will sob, like I am now...I think this is harder than when he left the first time.
Yet, as always, there is the proverbial "but" to everything. This could possibly be a blessing in disguise. The people at the base Blair is TDY didn't pass their inspection, so they are sending more troops from our base. If Blair were to come home for the holidays, he might possibly have to turn right back around and return to the north for another three months. I would definitely rather be seperated only two weeks, rather than three months! I am so incredibly disappointed that he won't be with me for our first Christmas, but I keep reminding myself that this is his job and he's good at it. This is what he loves. This is how he is making our world better. This is how he protecting our country and farther down the line, you and me. It doesn't make it easy but it makes it bearable. I miss him and love him and support him 100%. I will just start my countdown again. Starting with today, I have 15 days until I reunite with the love of my life. Until then...

A Different Christmas Poem

Hey everyone,
This poem has an especially new and significant meaning to me this Christmas. Please read it and think of anyone you know who is serving this country, then say a prayer for them, no matter where they are...

~This came to me in an email from a soldier in Iraq.

A Different Christmas Poem
The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

Friday, December 14, 2007

Excitement is in the air!!

Today has been a day filled with excitement. First of all, it's only ONE week, as in seven short little ol' days, till my HUSBAND comes home!! I have been so stoked the entire day. I can't wait to have him home with me!! It has been so long since I saw the love of my life! I can't wait until this time next week when he'll be in my arms! I have had the biggest grin on my face for the entire day! Our reunion has been long awaited!!

Another reason I am so excited is that Lily Sue Osbon was born today at 0837 this morning!! We have known for weeks that she has a spinal defect known as spina bifida. What we didn't know is if she'd be able to move her legs after birth (spina bifida causes paralyses in some). I am happy to report, however, that she is a fighter and a kicker!! Yes, she can move her legs!!! I am so grateful! I was so excited that my job provided me the ability to be with Lily to "watch over" her first few hours of life. I was able to be there for mom and dad before the birth, I was at the delivery, I was there for the transport to the NICU, I was able to assist Lily's nurses, and I gladly kept the family informed of Lily's progress in the midst of everything! This is definitely one of the times I loved my job!! I was so blessed to be able to be a part of Lisa and Chad's huge day!
Lily is not through with her journey yet however, and still needs everyone's prayers!! She will be having surgery today at 2 p.m. to hopefully restore the spinal defect she was born with. Then tomorrow, she'll be having surgery to fix the blockage in her small little intestines. She needs our prayers and Lisa and Chad need our support in this time! God has given this earth another angel and her name is Lily! Please remember her when you talk to God...he hears us! I have so much I could say, but I will leave you with this, you can touch someone's life without ever being a part of it, all you have to do is pray!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

My Lonesome

Hey everybody! I haven't posted anything in a while and I thought I would post an update on how everything is going. Hubby has been gone now for 45 days...and it bites!! I have just now gotten to where I don't expect him to walk through the door at any minute! I'm getting used to seeing our bed empty, laying on my side, wishing he were there to hold me. I miss touching his face, holding his hand, seeing him walk around the house...I plain ol' miss him!! I'm still trying to keep busy, but these past few days I've been off of work and all I want to do is sit at home. I feel closer to him when I'm at home. I see our stuff and can picture him with me. I have pictures everywhere, in almost every room, so I can see him where ever I go. We're on the downhill slide now (I hope) for him to come home. He's got a tenative date, and I hope it sticks!! Oh, for the day he comes home!!! I can't wait! I think so far I've done fairly well in the coping department. I've only had three or four breakdowns and as long as I don't watch sad movies, I'm okay. I think it helps that we get to talk everyday, sometimes more than once a day. I like to hear his calms me...Well, that's the update in a nutshell...I hope this finds everyone happy and healthy!! Love to all!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

The Perfect Tote Has Arrived!!

I am sew excited!! As most of you know from previous blogs, the sister and I took a "perfect tote" class on Monday. I was really excited about it, especially after I got my fabric. The demo they had at the store was with fabrics I would term, well, a bit "old" for me. However, the fabric I got was right up my alley and some of my favorite colors to boot, brown and blue!! We were supposed to choose 6 different designs and thankfully there were just enough in my colors! I got my fabric early so it made the waiting even harder!! But finally the day arrived. It passed quickly because I'd worked the night before and so I slept most of the day!! I actually overslept a bit, go figure huh? (Like I'm ever on time!!)
When we got there, the sis and I set up and got to work. The construction is rather easy, there are just a lot of steps. However, the end product is sew worth it!! We weren't able to finish the bag at the class because it was getting to late. I had to finish it at home, but that's ok, it got done! It gives me such a feeling of accomplishment to be able to construct something like this. I was so happy with the results! The bag it's self is HUGE!! But you know how the sis and I are about big bags...we relish them! Here are a few pictures for your enjoyment!!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Feelings of Relief!!

I HAVE FINISHED THE PETTICOATS!!! And on time, too, I might add! I was stressing pretty bad about getting them done, as I mentioned in my last post, but thankfully they are finished. I took some of it to work to work on in my "down" time between babies, so that helped a lot. A friend at work helped me cut the tulle and that was fabulous!!

This is what the finished product looked like. Don't let the picture fool you, that thing is poofy!!

The first petticoat was my "learning experience." They got progressively better. (Which is a good thing since Lay wants one for Ally's flower girl dress!!) By the time I made the third one, it was a cinch! I put way too much stress into the fact I had procrastinated, but they were actually not too hard to make. I made a bit more work for myself because I wanted the petticoat to be comfy for the girls. So, I made the satin as long as the tulle so it wouldn't scratch their legs. When I gave the lady at work the first one to try on her granddaughter, she came back and told me that the granddaughter loved it!! The second little girl wore it home from "the fitting." It made me feel good that they liked them so much!! They will look so cute skating around with their very poofy poodle skirts. The party was today, so I can't wait to go to work and ask my co-worker how it went and how the girls looked! She said she'd take pictures of how they all turned out.

~Just an update, the sis and I are going to our "perfect tote" class on Monday!! We can't wait!~

Monday, October 22, 2007

It was a sew, sew day...

Ok, so by now, everyone has read about the wrap me and the sister made. I was so stoked to go to this class, I kept giving people at work the countdown to the day we went!! Everyone was like "Just do it already, and bring it up here when you've finished it!!" I do believe sewing is my new favorite past time. Next week, the sister and I are going to make "the perfect tote." She didn't want to go, but then she saw the cute fabric I chose for my tote and decided she wanted to take the class after all. I have a confession, though, it was a premeditated fabric-ing. I knew as soon as she saw my fabric she'd want to make one for herself...and it worked!!! We'll let you know how it goes!!

(Pardon the bleary eyes in this picture, I had just come off four days of working and had been up for 24 hours!)

Another cool thing I got on our "minky dot wrap day" was a sewing machine tote!!! It's so cute... and PINK!! We got a dust cover with the machine when we bought it, but this tote is just that, a tote!! It's got handles and a shoulder strap and everything!! Did I mention it's pink?? Sis and I had gone to Hancock's to look for fabric and I found this instead.

I just wanted to share a sampling of what I have been sewing on my new favorite toy!! I have discovered the art of pillowcases!! I love to make them. I have made three to date. This one is the cutest so far. The other two were for Blair so the "cute level" had to be toned way down.

My newest project is petticoats. A lady at work's granddaughter is going to a sock-hop themed skating party. The little hostess wants all of her friends to wear poodle skirts. The lady from work decided the skirts aren't "poofy" enough and wanted me to make three petticoats. Yes, I said three. Now, I undertook this project because it sounded fun and I thought I had way more time than reality is allowing. I know sis has talked about her procrastination problem and just to inform those who don't already know, that problem is GENETIC!! Meaning, I have three days till these petticoats are to be finished and I just started!!! And the tulle isn't even here yet!!! It's ordered though, so that's a bonus!!
Well, that's all for now, I suppose. I'll keep everyone updated on the petticoats. I will be sure to take pictures to share with everyone!!! Take care and God bless!!

Friday, October 12, 2007

My Thoughts

Ok, so by now I'm sure everyone thinks that I have the saddest life ever. Well, last night when I was at work, I had a thought...I am very blessed!! Yes, I know, my husband is gone and I am extremely saddened by that fact, but the other facts are as follows:
  • I have a wonderful and loving husband
  • I have a great and supportive family (thanks for the other night sis!)
  • I made it through nursing school (by the prayers of my family and the grace of God!)
  • I am a Registered Nurse in the NICU (which I LOVE!!)
  • I have an adorable home that I love
  • I have super friends that I enjoy
  • And most of all, I have God on my side through the tough times (like now, for instance!)

Sometimes as a whole, the world gets sucked into all the bad things going on everywhere. This includes me. For the past week, five days, and four hours, all I could think about was "poor me, my husband is gone." But there are people out there that aren't blessed with loving husbands like I have been. There is always someone out there that has it worse, no matter how narcissistic we are in thinking its "all about me." I am going to really try hard to remember how extremely blessed I am, even when things are tough.

Now this is not to say that I won't miss Blair, because I WILL!! Anyone who really knows me knows how much I love him! This is just to say that even through my sadness I will remember that he's only going to be gone for a while, I can still talk to him, he's not in any more danger than I am, and that he loves me and wants to come home as badly as I want him home. So next time I'm sad (which by the way, don't watch 'We are Marshall' when you've already a really poopy night) I will work really hard to remember all the good instead of dwelling on the bad.

Friday, October 5, 2007

One week down...

So Blair has been gone for five days now. This week has not been as bad as I thought it would be. (I guess prepare for the worst and hope for the best, huh?) I kept super busy on Monday, fairly busy on Tuesday and Wednesday I slept all day. Wednesday was ok until I was fixing my dinner for work and as I was putting the lid on the container I saw our last name. For some reason that made me really sad and I shed a few tears. Thank God for my sister, though. She must have known that I was sitting there watching Sweet Home Alabama and crying, because she called and invited me over. It was just what the doctor ordered!! My sister has been great through this, very supportive, willing to help me keep my off of things.
It also helps that Blair and I get to talk on the phone frequently. He's not been as busy this week as I thought he would be so he's not been to tired to talk. I really love to hear his voice and it helps me to imagine that he's still close. I'm hoping that the days will pass by quickly. This week has, thank goodness.

Monday, October 1, 2007

A Hard Day

Today, Blair left for Minot, ND. I was ok getting ready to go and on the way to the airport. And standing in the line to buy his ticket I was only a little weepy. But boy, did the dam of tears break loose when it was time to say goodbye. I had been trying to be strong; let him see that I'm tough and have the grit it takes to be a military wife, but I couldn't hold back any more when its time for the last hug, last kiss for two, maybe three months. As I stood there sobbing on his shoulder, he just held me. It was just what I needed. His last words before leaving were "I love you, I'll see you in a couple weeks." Oh, if only it were a couple weeks. So I left him grudgingly at the airport to cry myself home and to sleep.
But I can do this, I can make it through this...This is what I tell myself. I keep a litany of my pros running through my head. I have family, friends, and work, lots of work. Today I kept busy. I hung out with a friend, Anna, went to a great get together at Laura's house, and it was ok. But now, as I sit here in our bed, alone, I really miss him. I miss his snore, yes, I said snore. I miss the way his chest feels under my hand. I miss the cute little gleam in his eye he gets just before pounces to tickle me. I just miss my Blair. He is my rock. He is my love, my soul mate.
But I can do this, I can make it through this. I knew when I married him that this day would come, I'd just hoped a little later than sooner. I tell myself to be strong and brave and not to make this harder for him, he's the one leaving. But it's hard being left behind.
In all of this, in all my sadness that my husband of four months tomorrow is thousands of miles away, I am still grateful. Grateful that he's not being sent to Iraq. Grateful that he won't be in imminent danger. Grateful that he's only states away, instead of countries. Grateful that we'll be able to talk everyday. Grateful I will be able to go see him. Grateful that I have family and friends near. Grateful because I know God will bring us through this and we'll be stronger for it. Grateful Blair is able to serve to his fullest capacity. Grateful he is my husband, a man who won't shirk his duty when called on. I am grateful for Blair.
But I can do this, I will make it though this, to the end, and I will rejoice when the end of our seperation is here. The journey to the end; however, will be difficult.
I know I am not alone. I have God on my side. Also, there are many wives who don't know where their husbands are, if they are alive, if they are eating more than once a day, if they will come home at the end of their deployment walking or with a flag over their left shoulder. I take courage from all the military wives before me who are strong for their men, who hold everything together and make life easy for him while he serves our country and it's people proudly. Though I am sad he's gone, I am proud of him. When asked, "Who will go?" my husband replied, "Here am I, I will go," just as we are all supposed to do. He displayed a willingness to give of himself not oft seen. He is my hero. I will miss him every day, every hour, minute, second he is gone.
But I can do this, I can make it through this, I have to, for him...